What do you usually do before a storm? You prepare. But what happens when a storm comes unexpectedly? Most of the storms in our lives, as in our problems, like losing our job or losing someone we really love, come when we least expect it. It is hard to stand firm in times of trouble and sadness; so is there anything we can do to protect ourselves from the problems that can break us down?
My father left when I was about eighteen years old, and for a very long time, I blamed myself. Even if it wasn’t my fault, which I understand now, there were times that I couldn’t help to think how things may have been if he were still here. My father leaving a wife and four daughters behind, it created what was probably the biggest storm I’ve had to face in my life. It was a storm that went on for years. It was unexpected and we were not prepared, but the important thing was that even though it took years of strengthening not only ourselves, but each other, with my mother and sisters, we overcame this storm, together. Let me tell you a little of what I learned.
Some problems in our life are small. They may come to help build up our courage to face bigger ones in the future. Most of the time, I believe these small problems are easier to face alone. If you are facing a problem in your life right now that you feel you can overcome on your own, focus on fighting by yourself, without the help of others. It may be hard at first, but this is a way of making yourself stronger. The best way to learn how to skillfully manage a storm is by having the courage to face it on your own first. Don’t expand it by involving other people; just manage it as best you can on your own. Have faith in yourself, and even if it takes time, you will have overcome something you didn’t think possible on your own.
Now unfortunately, not all problems are small. There are ones harder to fight and beat on our own, but these too can be overcome. Sometimes, these are the kind of problems that bring on depression, heartbreak and a lot of pain, but don’t forget that these are also the kind that teach. From them, we discover the strength we never thought we had; we learn that no matter how many times we feel beaten, we are still able to get back up. We also learn to trust not only ourselves and what we are capable of, but also to trust others when we need their help.
If you are going up against a big storm in your life right now, it would be good for you to let someone you trust know, because from experience, at a certain point, you will need someone. There will be times when you feel like you can’t keep going, and all you do is cry from frustration and blame yourself, but having someone there, understanding what you are going through, will help you to faster gain your strength to keep fighting. That person will be your aid and your comfort. Then one day when they need your strength facing their own storms, you will know exactly what to do in order to help them.
At the beginning, I asked if there is anything we can do to protect ourselves from the problems that can break us down. Yes, there is. Think back at the problems you have faced before and what you’ve learned from each one. What could you have done differently? Learning from past experience is probably a good start. Also, only you know your limits, so if you feel like you need help from a family member, or a friend, don’t be afraid to trust someone with telling them what is going on.
Some storms will take long to die down; sometimes we battle things for years, but know that each storm eventually comes to an end, even though it may feel never-ending at times. I understand that it isn’t easy, but I do know, that you should never under estimate your strength. You are always stronger than you think. So just keep going, remind yourself that one day this will all be over. Also, it never hurts to say a prayer. The more help, the better.
Sincerely,
Heidi